Vegeta and the Operation
by Frontier of Darkness
Summary: Here is a short story based on our favourite Saiyan Prince. Probably A/U though. Read and definetly review.


Vegeta and the Operation  
  
  
  
Vegeta lay paralyzed with fear on a gigantic steel cutting board, eyes closed, waiting for the unseen. He wouldn't have this problem if his eyes were open because then the unseen would be seen. He had waited too long for this. Vegeta began to grow impaitient.  
  
"Doctor! When are you going to preform this operation-thing-a-migig?" he hollered.  
  
"Just as soon as I get the tools ready." came the reply.  
  
'It would be better is this confounded doctor would just tell me what he is going to me.' thought Vegeta.  
  
Just then, the door opened, revealing a young woman with long green hair twisted into a ponytail, which was hanging, infront of her shoulders. She was wearing a red sweater and a yellow dress going up to her knees. She had a white hospital overcoat over that. One of her hands were adjusting a mirror thingy on her head.  
  
"Bulma?" asked Vegeta, totally shocked, gaping at her.  
  
"Surprised Vegeta?" teased Bulma.  
  
"What are you going to do to me?" demanded Vegeta. Bulma just ignored him. She stepped up to him, and magically took out a knife from practically nowhere at all she raised the weapon above her head and…  
  
Vegeta had his eyes closed waiting for the knife to pierce him but when he looked up, he saw Bulma looking at the fraigile blade in her hand and shook her head.  
  
" This will never do". She told herself, then she raised one of her long nails and tapped the blade lightly. To everyone's supprise, it shattered into a million pieces.  
  
Bulma went swiftly out of the room. Vegieta looked a bit relieved but when Bulma came back holding… um… a certain object, Vegeta let out a pitiflying scream.  
  
" Get that thing away from me!" he yelled and tried to run away. Luckily, (for Bulma, anyway) Vegeta was chained tightly to the cutting board. (" Poor Vegeta." sighed Gohan, a spectator.)  
  
" Calm down Vegeta." said Bulma rasing a gigantic, motor-operated, six-foot long, electric chain saw, high above her head.  
  
" Get away from me!" screeched Vewgeta. He closed his eyes and waited for his certain doom.  
  
'I'd much rather have Freiza perform the operation, at least I can count on it to be quick. That blasted woman!' thought Vegeta. He just laid down there and waited  
  
'This is all Kakarot's fault! Only if I didn't go to his doctor's check-up thing with him. That blasted doctor insisted that he scan my skeleton with that blasted contraption. Of course there's something different about my structure. I AM A SAYAN! If only I had destroyed him.' Vegeta was brought back to reality when he heard a smacking sound and cursing.  
  
Vegeta opened his eyes in wonder. Bulma was slapping the side of the chain saw and shaking it.  
  
" Darn it!" she yelled. The she she smiled and said in a calm voice: "I guess it's busted".  
  
Sighs of relief filled the room. Trunks actually started smiling again. Vegeta was still horror-strikened, unable to believe it. This was just too good to be true.  
  
" Don't worry everyone, just sit tight and I'll be right back." Anounced Bulma cheerfully.  
  
Everyone immediately stopped celebrating. (" Uhoh." Said Krillen. " I really don't want to witness this.") When Bulma came back, she was holding a long, blunt sword!  
  
" Ha! Do you expect to perform the operation with that?" said Vegeta.  
  
" Looks can be decieving." taunted Bulma. Then she pulled out a large grinder. She used it to sharpen the sword. Then she held it up to the light and ran two slender fingers along the blade.  
  
"Goten, would you be a dear and fetch a sewing needle and a thread?" asked Bulma.  
  
"Why?" asked Goten. "What for? And why would I be a deer?"  
  
"No dear, it's a different deer. I need the needle and the thread to sew Vegeta's skin back together after the operation." she said in a 'as a matter of fact' tone. While she said that, she carelessly swung the sword into one of the enormous steel tanks against the wall. To everyone's surprise, the tank crashed to the floor. The top half separated cleanly from the bottom half and lay there, leaving everyone speechless. Vegeta looked very sombre. It was a tense moment for everyone except Bulma who just looked as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Well now, let's continue shall we?" she said. Then she crossed over to Vegeta and held her sword high above him and brought it down as hard as she could. There was a crack, followed by the supposed sound of splintering bones. No one dared to look.  
  
'If this is dying, this isn't too bad. No wonder Kakarott keeps dying.' thought Vegeta. Then he decided to look for himself. It had shattered into a million pieces. But it was the knife that had shattered not his body.  
  
"Huh?" Gohan was extremely confused. 'How can Vegeta's stomache be even stronger than a solid steel tank?' he thought. Then Gohan walked over to the broken tank and examined it. "No wonder! This thing's made out of cardboard!" Everyone fell down anime style. (You know, when they turn completely upside down, with the feet in the air.)  
  
"What's a solid steel tank made out of cardboard doing here?" yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Oh don't worry about it. It's just a piece of the scenery." said Bulma calmly.  
  
'That still doesn't answer my question.' thought Vegeta crossly.  
  
"She means that there's no particular reason. It's just there." said the Supreme Kai, reading Vegeta's thoughts.  
  
'Damn it! I forgot that blasted-er, brilliant Kai could read minds.' thought Vegeta.  
  
"What's he doing here?" whispered Chichi.  
  
"Why shouldn't I be here? Can't the Supreme Kai get to see the death of the Prince of a Saiyans?" asked the Supreme Kai.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" yelled poor tortured Vegeta. "Listen Kai, I don't find that amusing at all."  
  
"EVERYONE STAND BACK!" yelled Bulma, charging into the scene, holding a gigantic axe, the size of a boulder. ("How could she lift that thing?") Quite a few people screamed. Chiaozu took one look and fainted.  
  
'That thing's nothing compared to Chichi's frying pan.' thought Ox King, shuddering at the memory of it. After reading his thoughts, the Supreme Kai gulped and took a step away from Chichi, as though she might pounce any second. Vegeta turned very white. Then he gave Bulma an innocent puppy dog look and smiled sweetly.  
  
"You wouldn't be considering to use that horrible, mean, old thing to cut me, now do you?" asked Vegeta hopefully and sounding like a four year old. He only did that as a last resort.  
  
"In fact, I do." replied Bulma strictly. "Doctor says that little Veggie- chan is to have an operation and thus, little Veggie-chan will get an operation or else, he will have to sleep on the couch for a whole month."  
  
"Awww, no mercy. Big ol' Bulma is very mean." said Vegeta is a high voice. Then he rolled his eyes, his voice went back to normal. "Don't EVER call me Veggie-chan or else~"  
  
"Or else, what…Veggie-chan?" mocked Bulma. Steam started to sprout from Vegeta's ears. There was fire in his eyes.  
  
"Or else…um…I won't be very happy." said Vegeta sadly. Everyone just stared. It wasn't normal for Vegeta to act this way. Bulma shook her head.  
  
"I'm really sorry that Bulma has to make little Veggie-chan feel sad. But Bulma must do her job. Therefore, little Veggie-chan must get his operation. Sorry, little Veggie-chan, a job's a job."  
  
"Stop calling me Veggie-chan!" yelled Vegeta, the fire was flaming brighter than ever.  
  
"I didn't exactly call you 'Veggie-chan', I called you little Veggie-chan, little Veggie-chan." said Bulma.  
  
'Curse this woman!' thought Vegeta.  
  
"Sorry. Bulma is a beloved, respected, genius woman. You can't just curse her." said the Supreme Kai, reading Vegeta's thoughts once again.  
  
'I've got to keep my thoughts well guarded. Anyway, if Bulma's a beloved, respected, genius woman, then what am I?' thought Vegeta.  
  
'Um, you'rea unbeloved, unrespected, idiotic man? No offense but, I mean, you're exactly the opposite of Bulma and they do say opposites attrack…right?' thought the Supreme Kai.  
  
"I guess we should finish this operation now. All right guys, play the funeral march!" exclaimed Bulma.  
  
'Funeral march?' thought Vegeta frantically. Just then, the door burst open to reveal a huge bunch of digusting, brainwashed idiots dressed as purple dinosaurs.  
  
"I love you! You love me! We're as happy as can be! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say that you love me too!" They yelled/sang/screamed (I couldn't pick which word). Now it was Vegeta's turn to scream.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! NO! I'LL NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU! IN FACT I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOUUU!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Vegeta, then he fainted in sheer horror. The big, ugly, purple dinosaurs looked flabbergasted.  
  
"Does he really hate us, that much?" they asked Bulma. Bulma shrugged in response. Then she pushed the Barneys out of the door.  
  
'When I wanted a funeral march, this is not what I had in mind.' she thought as she stared around the room at the lifeless bodies.  
  
"Uh oh. It looks like that last funeral march of doom has just killed everyone off." said Bulma to herself. "There's only one way to revive them." said Bulma.  
  
"Summon the Eternal Dragon?" asked one off the readers.  
  
"Kill the Barneys for revenge?" asked another.  
  
"No. This!" said Bulma and pulled out a stereo and turned it on. Loud rock music filled the scene. Bulma lifted up a microphone and sang.  
  
"I hate you. You hate me. Let's get up and kill Barney!" At her first words, the Z-senshi started started resurrecting. Then they all stood up to finish the rest of the song. "With a great big bow on the golfer's head." Then they posed for the grand finale.  
  
"Let's all sing that Barney's dead!" Then everyone cheered. The cheering was cut short by a loud 'NOOOOOOOO!!!' in the distance, belonging to the Barneys.  
  
"Oh no! They're dead!" exclaimed Ox King.  
  
"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?" asked Bulma.  
  
"No."  
  
"Should we just leave them there?" asked ChiChi.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what should we do?" asked Gohan. Trunks and Goten looked at each other evily.  
  
"DESTROY THEM!" they yelled.  
  
"YEAH!" everyone agreed.  
  
"Distructo Disk!"  
  
"KA…ME…HA…ME…HAAAAAA!!!"  
  
"BIG BANG ATTACK!"  
  
There was about fifty people shouting out attacks. There are just a slample.  
  
"Pepper Breath!"  
  
"What?" Everyone stopped in their various positions. "Who did that attack?" asked Goku. No one answered.  
  
"Boom Bubble!"  
  
"Huh?" Goku scratched his head in confusion. "It was 'Boom Bubble'?" then he turned around to see the TV on. Trunks and Goten were watching a TV show called 'Digimon'. "Oh. No wonder."  
  
"Can we continue with the operation?" asked Bulma. She held her axe above her head and posed, ready to strike. Just then, the door burst open. "What now?" asked a very pissed Bulma. It was the doctor.  
  
"Don't cut him!" he exclaimed, running over to Vegeta. "I am terrible sorry!" You see, I made a small error when I checked your body. It seems to be all in tact. You won't need an operation. By the way," he said, lowering his voice, "Personally I thought you would be a goner by now. Um, Ms. Briefs here, may be a genius but she was never really good at doing operations on live beings. Ms. Briefs! What are you doing?" Bulma, axe still raised, had decided to bring it down on Vegeta, whether he needed an operation or not. Everyone looked in sheer horror as the axe went further and further. Everything was (or seemed) to be slowing down. Then Bulma came to a stop.  
  
"Is it because this is too intense for me to bear it, or did Bulma toitally stopped?" asked Piccolo. Vegeta, who had his eyes closed, looked up at Bulma curiously. Bulma's stern looking face slowly burst into a playful smile.  
  
"Fooled you, didn't I?" she laughed. Then she pulled Vegeta into a kiss.  
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" cried Trunks and Goten in unison. "Mushy stuff!"  
  
"On the other hand," started the doctor, "I think I made another mistake yet again, Vegeta. I think you have a very big mental problem so I'm sending you to a mental hospital this instant.  
  
"KAKAROTT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" yelled Vegeta as two super strong nurses carried him away. "Hey, put me down! This is no way to treat the prince of all Saiyans! The Prince of all Saiyans would rather die before he's put into a mental hospital! And the one thing that a Saiyan keeps is his keeps is his PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"You know, that last part wasn't too accurate. I mean, not all saiyans are boys you know." said Bra.  
  
"You said it." answered Pan lazily.  
  
~ End ~  
  
Note to all angry readers: If any of you are angry about how bad I made someone look, then flame to your heart's content. Saiyans and stones can break my bones but flames can hurt even more. Did that make sense? Anyway, this story was and always will be, nothing but a piece of crap. I know it's trash so I don't care if you flame. The main reason of this story is not to bash Vegeta but to let out all the crazy nonsense in my head. Thank you and have a good day. 


End file.
